15/3/2011
dreamed of blacks.^last night merely backup some home movie to picasaweb. China surveillance heavily blocked my posting photos to my online album. this dawn dreamed lengthy in a continent whos habitants mostly blacks, with a guy from a pc game "lost horizon" I played with baby son months ago. his name is padlock. we made friends among the black, including girls, and their King, in the progress underwent our commitment. when i ate breakfast near 8am, in canteen a hooligan once lived in the dorm back to years when I was single and just joined QRRS, the railway wagon mill, now in his 40's, there stared me bluntly. yesterday he also visit the dorm when i leaving my room. local mafia really smelt bloodiness from paid murder conspired by enemy of my Empire of China. Today is also the end of annual congress session which lasted a week, hopefully machine dog that ruling China now would rest for some time. last night China surveillance first time in the week didn't cut down my Internet after 8pm. God, bring my dorm Internet, lead me into my life i dreamed, with my girls who so aspiring out of dirt&dust.
14/3/2011
bright morning after cleansing snow in early Spring.^time glides as it should be, but my pray for a improved workspace endures. baby son now regularly visit me and berth Friday night in my dorm in QRRS, my previous long time employer. he asked for 2 sequent nights in my dorm but i so far refused him for the sake of his mom's jealousy which turning thick after i unbiasedly shown her freedom in my heart after our resolved divorce, after found painfully sins in her family too deep to afford for sternness of my family, nor cohere in glory of God, my son&my past dad's. baby still reined by his mom by compulsive e-piano practise, sometimes his miserable cries loathing to the music instrument lets me sorry&baseless. i wait for his own desicion to quit the burden said according his mom chose himself half year ago, influenced by his pal and attracted by a nearby music school, which rampant in nowadays China, when he still came over to QRRS' kindergarten. i sure saw why his mom so energetic to bridle the green life with constrain in which she gaining in advantage post likes a teacher. i pray God let baby son, warrenzh, be decisive, and i will forever support his choice. God, in this sunny morning, u see my sorrow and loneliness. bring my girls into my new family, bring my improved workspace, reunite baby son with his proud dad in his elegant palace.
Its a busy Monday morning. last night i sorted stuff on my notebook till 1am. however, i got up earlier than 7am and had my favorite breakfast in canteen. all the morning busy on computer, rarely recently for i usually sleepy after breakfast. napped at noon, dreamed of baby son's sufferings and my heartbreaking love in him. also dreamed of my eldest brother returned from northern China to our hometown, Hubei Province, central China, reporting bankrupts in medicare system. then in half awaking, reviewed the elapse of my past mother, felt that's her wrong doing, or her payment for her mistakes, or risk herself to test&attest. in holy flashlight, i saw nothing reverts God's everlasting life, and timeless Majesty, and any creature of God enjoy broadest freedom to make errs, to die, to experiment, under God's ever sustaining saves. in a retrospect, i see life's bearing and endurable, i see boundless freedom of quest one's destiny at will, in God's timeless and limitless creation and loving. in a light i see braveness in heart of baby son, warrenzh 朱楚甲, and among my beloved. I know my past dad 朱中明, God, chose to ditch his worn body I took for granted, for him a just weightless step for ascending world, remould into Spiritual &all sources. It turns pale now, but I know touching love in Asoh Yukiko's heart, in holy source we linked.
11/3/2011
a clear day among Spring late snow.^it started to snow likely in mid night, covered the ground considerable when i woke up lately around 9am, after a nice dine out with toast beef with baby son and his mom last night. the buffet restaurant jammed heavily when we arrived after 6pm, but baby's mom managed to be shared a large table with other 2 families, an couple just in their honey mood, a family with a son in three. meat is rich, we hardly swallow all, including baby's mom's good appetite after baby and me finished our dinner rapidly after cookies. we walked on way home awhile as baby's mom suggested, then took bus, departed near Qiqihar railway station. baby walked home with his mom while i on feet walked passing 4 bus stops to my QRRS dorm. baby asked my visit on this Sunday but refuted by his mom. God lets me buzzed baby for grant first, after failed in the air to alert nor alter baby's mom about baby's painfully loathing to practise piano while his mom push hard to harness him with the clause in which she niched by superficial gaining role as teacher's. then i took bus to visit baby in his mom's house, where the sinister younger sister of baby's mom again there occupying computer&Internet. i waited untill the sin left baby's room for lunch, then i continued my work to secure family google accounts with 2 step verification based on cellphone's sms function. baby's mom cooked porridge and asked me to have some. after lunch, baby's mom tried to force baby napping with her, but baby soon gave up his obedience, got up to play pc games i just made ready on his desktop, found interesting when we gamed the night before in my dorm, the second night in which i gradually made it a custom to live baby a night in my dorm when I solely serve him on every Friday, after the breakout the sinful family of baby's mom aroused weeks ago, as disclosed in my previous blog. when i too busy between baby's game and my on work to make exemption of sms tweeting between ISP&client through baby's contacts under custody on his cellphone, to allow family tweets' sharing, i persuaded baby to try his own in game or rest if too hard, his mom woke up&scorned me as usual, blaming my absence even with baby aside. then we left together near 2pm, they for baby's music lesson while i returned to my dorm. the warm air of Spring lets snow melting all around. so i told baby the merit and rarity of mountains against flood and bizarre weather, as well as my hometown, mountainous Hubei Province in central China. his mom asked we left first, as she frequent practices recently, prepared herself behind alone. the dorm is quiet when i arrived, i felt the precious moment of boring in rain day, warmth of family and relatives, bliss of Asoh Yukiko, God of Sun&wind&rain, but i saw more silent moment anyone facing oneself in full loneliness, and even urgent Internet for me, as way of meaningful and creative.
God, these days so beautiful for me, for my Royal of China, esp. this cloudy and snow-melting day! bring me my improved work space, bring me my new family with my girls that pray and in full hearted love and adoration. God, sanity forever with my baby son, warrenzh, Hope of China, God of Universe. U see, God.
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